What Not to Knit

The Fashionable Things That You Can Do With Fun Fur

davidsdoll101 — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 16:27:41 +0000

Magnificent.

Pinata Fringe!

davidsdoll101 — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 19:46:24 +0000

Am I right?

Lion Brand’s Fashion Show

davidsdoll101 — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 17:07:15 +0000

Hideous scarves, that awful knit hood thing that I mentioned a while back (and still not paired with the right outfit) and what appears to be a beret made of Fun Fur! Why, it’s the Lion Brand Fashion show hosted by Vanna White!!!!!!!!

Baby Unibrow’s Snappy New Outfit

davidsdoll101 — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 17:55:26 +0000

Don’t get me wrong, I love Thick And Quick, it’s my favorite cheap yarn. But there are things that you just shouldnt do with it. I like it for hats, it makes warm hats. Blankets, or big scarves, that’s what it’s for! But not for this, especially if you’re going to pair it with a floral print long sleeve shirt that doesn’t even remotely match.
Also, unibrow or no unibrow here? Is that a shadow or what? Discuss.

When Would You Wear It?

davidsdoll101 — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 03:15:33 +0000

I’m having a hard time deciding if the sweater part fell off or if this is REALLY a knitted hood.

And how would you wear it? And when? When would it be appropriate to wear a knitted hood? It doesnt even look good with the outfit modeled, and I just dont know what you could possibly wear this with.

And that, my friends, should be the first thing you think when you’re about to knit something like this. The five W’s people, who would wear it, what would you wear it with, when would you wear it, where would you wear it, and WHY in god’s name would you knit it?

Like This Is A Really Bad Idea

davidsdoll101 — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:42:51 +0000

Why on EARTH would you knit something to cozy something that is set on FIRE? Is this for those candles that you arent supposed to burn? Why in the hell do people do that anyway? You buy a candle, you burn it, that’s IT! And you dont pay homage to it by covering it with, Ill be it somewhat pretty, KNITTING.

It’s not ugly, it’s just useless. Utterly utterly useless.

Foreskin

davidsdoll101 — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 21:59:26 +0000

…was the first word that came to mind. Funny that.

$1,500

davidsdoll101 — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 17:21:21 +0000

A few posts back I discussed How Not To Model. In this particular instance, the model turned out to be the perfect match for this dress of shame. Absolute shame.

Yes, a completely knitted “prom gown” with sock monkeys all the fuck over it. Oh, but they each have their own name tags!!!

And the model…her hair…I mean, for one it was probably hard to get ANYONE to model this thing. But they found just about the only girl in the world who can pull it off. I hear that the hair piece was found festering under a rock and they thought it would look great with this…this whatever you call it. Dress thing…with monkeys, dress thing…

No pattern, but thankfully you can order it for only $1,500.

This is going to be the best prom EVARRR!!!!

Because That’s What Shawls Are For…

davidsdoll101 — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 19:59:54 +0000

I know when I decide to just stand around in my underwear and bra, I think to myself, I say, “Self, you would look dashing with a net shawl dawning long suede fringe.” Also, I can totally see her junk. You can too, right? Pattern brought to you by the good people at Berroco.

Pom Poms Make Things More Fun! And Stupid!

davidsdoll101 — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 18:54:47 +0000

This here is viewer submitted. Surely for it’s random pom poms, but possibly for the oversized glove crotch grab, ammiright?